05 june 2026
Torn between learning (and keeping) new routines to help me better organise my time and feeling overwhelmed by my social life and everything I want to do in my alone time. And in the midst of all this, I'm actively looking for a job that wouldn't make me hate every day. Doing my best, that's for sure, but since the beginning of this year I feel submerged by the tiniest things... Probably an impact of my depression, and the result of my obstination to always push myself a bit too far socially. Sigh.
22 april 2026:
I'm not posting the dried flower I talked about in my last blog post because it didn't turn out the way I hoped. Still not so bad for a first try but not post-worthy in my opinion.
Life continues to feel better and better again, and I keep doing my best to get myself out of this depressed state I was in for months. Can't help but feel like these months were wasted. I could have really enjoyed being unemployed, but that's okay, sometimes you need time to heal or reflect, even if it's not the right time.
On another note, I'm really changing the way I use the internet. Of course, creating this website and learning to code for the first time in my life was a step in that direction, but I also deleted almost all my social media apps and am barely using my phone to scroll. Began burning CDs again, listening to lots of albums and getting back into reading since I stopped almost completely during my recent depression. Turns out flowers in parks and app subscription cancellations was all I needed to like life again lol.
We started cooking more elaborate meals with my boyfriend and are really getting our good moods back!! Recently we implemented a new routine: making a weekly menu. Yes, it sounds a bit boring but it definitely fits our way of functioning and we can't deny the change in our quality of life. Less impulse buys, more varied meals and more fun cooking time (which I didn't think would be fun to me but turns out it is?!)
09 april 2026:
Slowly but surely regaining my will to go out and socialise. I've had difficulties with this for months now (longer than usual) and I'm so relieved that I seem to finally get better. Took time for myself while still keeping contact with the people around me so I don't feel completely alone and helpless. Also, big step(!), I had my first therapist appointment ever and I think it's the best decision I've made in a long time. I've been meaning to go to therapy for years but always postponed it, either because I felt okay and didn't want to bother paying for this, or because I was anxious and stressed about finding the right therapist for me and actually taking steps toward getting better. I have a clear enough view of my feelings and the way I function to be confident that I'll manage to fix things, with the help of my newly-found therapist.
On another note, I'm looking for work again. I've been unemployed for 6 months as of now and unfortunately it's time to get back to work! Can't say I'm happy about this but it's only so I can come back to being unemployed without too much stress in a year or so! We'll see how things go and what job I actually manage to get lol.
A few days ago, my boyfriend and I
went on a walk in our neighborhood
and sawthese beautiful tulips!
Had to take a photo. :)
One of them was on the floor, cut,
but in good shape. I took it home
and put it in the flower press
that my boyfriendgot me for our
5 years anniversary 2 months ago.
It has to stay pressed for 7 to 10
days. Let's hope it dries evenly...
If it's cute I'll post a photo !